Get a Man to Put More Effort Into a Relationship.

Get a Man to Put More Effort into a Relationship

     Being in a new relationship is blissful. Each new day can’t seem to get any better than the day before, and every day brings you closer to one another. Discovery after discovery is guaranteed to make you fall in love with each other more. You know how to get your man to chase you and make you feel wanted. And he loves the thrill of chasing after you, too. You can’t get enough of each other.

   It’s all passion and romance and love, the stuff great romance novels are made of. But then that passion turns comfortable. What happened?

   Six months in, one year after, you are still very much together. There’s no doubt you still love each other — but the spark has dulled and he's stopped chasing you like he used to. You end up second-guessing each other.

   Passion and romance have turned comfortable and boring, and there are times you feel you are being taken for granted. There are times you feel he is slipping away.

   You get scared and do a knee-jerk reaction: Try and pull him closer. But it backfires.

   Do you feel that it’s a lost cause? Are you afraid that this relationship is soon going to be part of your long-winded history of exes? Don't worry! There's a way to fix things.

    When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s likely that at some point you will start to feel taken for granted. If you have been in a relationship for a number of months, or even years, you may find that your boyfriend is paying less attention to you or taking less interest in your life. When he starts to pull away and isn’t treating you with the love, respect, and consideration you deserve, it’s time to revaluate. Don’t sit around and worry about what’s going through his mind—it’s pointless. Instead, take control of the situation and start to assess whether this is someone you really want in your life. If your boyfriend is too focused on other things to really make you a priority in his life, maybe it’s time you start focusing on something else too—like other eligible guys who are willing to put in the work and effort to keep you happy.

     He may not spend as much time with you as he used to. He may not be as well groomed for you or court you as avidly as he did when you first began your sexual relationship. You might also be experiencing sexual rejection or a lack of affection, less talk about your future together or feeling left out of events and activities that you would consider to be fun, if only you had been invited.

     If your man is taking you for granted, here are several measures you can take to recapture his interest, make more time for you and "raise the relationship bar" so that he must put more effort into the relationship or risk losing you to someone else.

Always be busy if he doesn’t plan well

  If you two are dating and aren’t just hook-up buddies, he should be asking you at least a day in advance to see you. If he gives you any less notice than this, always say you’re busy, even if you’re not. Make him learn that if he wants to see you, he’ll have to ask sooner. Remind him that others want your time, and you don’t save it for him.

Ditch him and take yourself on nice dates

   If he invites you to another lame night at a bar with a big group of friends and hasn’t taken you on a nice date in a long time, say, “No thanks. I feel like doing something nice and treating myself tonight. I’m going to get a drink at a nice bar and take myself to a nice dinner.” Make him see that if he doesn’t get on board with planning nice evenings, he just won’t get to see you as often. And make him worry a little: he should see that you don’t need a man to treat you…so he better make himself valuable to you in some way!

Here are some steps you can take to raise your self-esteem, establish new boundaries with your partner and develop a more emotionally mature Outlook:

·         Tell yourself that no matter what happens, you will always be okay because you can always handle it with or without a man. This will communicate a message to him that you are not a needy little girl, but a self-sufficient, capable woman.

·         Drop any resentment or anger that you have towards him and do not mention the past or outstanding issues when you see him, as they are minor compared to the huge issue of his commitment to your relationship. This will help you emanate an air of optimism that he will likely find attractive.

• Work on yourself instead of your relationship and address any weight or dental issues so that you are more attractive to yourself and others
• Cultivate a daily attitude that exudes confidence and self-respect by always being well groomed, nicely dressed and ready for anything. This communicates to him that you still consider yourself to be "a catch"
• Talk less about yourself and more about current events and topics that interest everyone.
• Refuse to take the bait that will start an argument. Instead, display an excellent sense of humour as this changes the rules of any power games he may be using to keep your relationship on the back burner
• Resist losing emotional control in front of him by taunting, teasing, threatening or using emotional blackmail; when upset show indifference and leave.
• Walk around like you are invincible, even if this is not true" fake it until you make it.
• Show that you are so busy with your own life that he is lucky that you have time for him". Be a bit inaccessible; this makes you seem like more of a prize.
• The point of this exercise is to "put yourself first so that others will do the same." If he sees you putting yourself last then he will put you last as well.
• Pay attention to your priorities and not his". Do what is best for you!

Here are the behaviours you should exhibit to train him to be appreciative of you:

•    Be a bit inaccessible and not always available for a visit or a date, as this will make him feel like he is losing his "power" over you and you take more work than he thought.
•    Do not return every single text; limit your texts to him. Many men who take women for granted use cell phone communication to string them along rather than deal with them in person.
•    Be cool and know when to be quiet; cultivate saying the right thing at the right time.
•     Ask him to bring you home flowers and make and excuse not to see him if he doesn't.
•    Demand only the best from him and that includes everything from choice of vehicle to ride into the restaurants he takes to you to “no more cheap dates at MacDonald's because you have become comfortable as a couple.
•    Never shame him; show disapproval only by becoming more and more distant from him emotionally.
•    Dress in lingerie and as seductively as you can when you retire together to bed at night.
•    If he does something right, then praise him and reward him with affection, and if he does something wrong, make yourself unavailable without much explanation.
•  Without expressing a need for him to rescue you or parent you, you can allow him to express gallantry or courtesy for you such as opening doors for you and pulling out your chair for you at dinner", which you can let him pay for.
• Refuse to engage in power struggles with him; you are too classy for that now.
•  Appeal to his better side by encouraging him to volunteer in activities that better the lives of others, such as food drives and other charitable acts ". This will help you "get away from yourselves" as a couple and do something rewarding together.